While I was /away.

Shitloads of things happened.

One, that Woolmer dude was killed.

Two, the Pakistanis crashed out of the World Cup.

Three, the Indians crashed out of the World Cup.

Four, oops I farted again.

Forget one and two, not because I don’t want to talk about the ‘gruesome effect of match-fixing and high expectations’. It’s only because I don’t care.

Now, number three. The Indians – lost to Bangladesh, lost to Sri Lanka, kicked the Bermudians’ asses and ended up crashing out of the world cup.

So, long story short, the Indian team is fucked.

There was this interview on TV last night that caught my attention. Sharad Pawar, the BCCI President, saying there was a need for two teams (I think they’re going to be called “Seniors” and “Blues”) so as to have a ‘healthy reserve’ of backup players, in case the need arises.

That, well, got me thinking.

Here’s my suggestion that would make the BCCI richer and India one kick-ass cricketing nation.

Have one team for every opposition.

Have a team that would play -only- against Australia, one team to play -only- the Lankans and so on and so forth. India A, India B and so on and so forth… If the game gets really popular and more and more teams start playing the game, we can have the MS Excel style India AA, India AB… You get the drift, don’t you?

To ‘tackle’ the minnow teams like Ireland, Scotland and other lands, no, Netherlands, invite galli cricketers and give them some exposure.

I will tell you why this is an amazing idea.

Our country’s population – over a billion. No statistics involved, but I’m guessing more than half of them are cricket crazy. Almost every other guy wants to be a cricketer. By having these opponent specific teams, you’re giving everybody an opportunity to play the game for the country.

Imagine the unemployment problems addressed through this simple solution. It’s not just the fifteen people in the squad that are employed… What about the coach, the physio, the media manager, the butt kisser, the personal cooks, the people who carry the players’ luggage, the bat makers… the list is endless… what about them? They get employment opportunities too, don’t they?

India’s success rate will be high. Even if one Indian team loses to Australia, the other two teams touring Canada and Bermuda will definitely kick ass and get the success rate back to where it should be. This is foolproof, well, not completely. You cannot forget match-fixing there, can you?

Money. The BCCI will get bucketfuls of money. Imagine the amount of money it is making with this current team. And now, imagine the same amount multiplied by the number of ‘India’ teams it has. We can bloody own the ICC with it and still have some change to buy Microsoft.

Advertisers will not lose money because some Indian team will be playing somewhere all the time. They’ll probably fight over ad rights for a number of matches and not just one or two.

The cricket fan will never get bored. Every channel will have some cricket match and he’ll be assured that one side is always an Indian side.

Hm, let’s see, India vs. South Africa… India lost another wicket. Damn!

*change channel*

Ooh, Amul Pakodikar just hit a century against the Fiji team! Whoa!!! I’m watching this match!

Fun fun fun.

This has to be the singlemost awe inspiring idea that the BCCI can actually implement. Yeah, yeah, laugh at me now, but you know you’re going to root for the India SE team when they play the Iceland team.

You watch!

Amen.