A shitty conversation

Edit: Before you read this, read… this

Nikhil: Now I really know you are jealous. HA HA HA!
16:06 ahem. ok.
so whadelseizup?
me: Nothing at all men. Same shit, even on weekends sometimes. :
16:07 Nikhil: gosh. same shit can happen only if you eat your own shit.
hmmmmmmmmmmm…..
me: Erm.
Not really.
16:08 Same shit happens only if you eat the same thing everyday.
Nikhil: well, that’d be SIMILAR shit then, not SAME
me: Because if you eat something you shit, then it becomes less… shitty.. You know, it changes composition while getting digested.
Probably.
16:09 Nikhil: probably not… shit is shit that cannot/has not been digested.
and for some shitty reason your body decides to assimilate some of it, the rest of it is going to come out exactly the same
me: Not the same…
Similar, perhaps.
Nikhil: maybe some additions, but the same shit’s going to be in there anyway.
me:
16:10 We should be able to prove it.
Here’s a thought.
If you ate my shit and took a dump, would it be me shitting through you?
Nikhil: proceed.
16:11 no, it would be Me shitting your shit.
me: Hrm.
Nikhil: and I’m gonna let that remain just a thought.
me: You’ll be like my.. surrogate shitter.
Nikhil: no macha… you got the whole concept of surrogacy(?) wrong.
16:12 me: Okay…
Nikhil: if i ate your shit…. that means You have already taken a dump.
me: Ah, yes….
Nikhil: that means you are already capable of dumping
me: So, if you stole my lunch and ate it.
And THEN took a dump.
Nikhil: EGJJACTLY!
me: You’ll be a surrogate then?
Nikhil: you got the point now.
me: Ohkkeeey…
16:13 Nikhil: That, I am willing to do. steal your lunch, that is.
me: Okay, just look at food this way then….
It is unprocessed shit.
Nikhil: looked at it that way for a loooong time.
16:14 me: Bon Apetit?
Nikhil: so your lame attempt at crapping me out hasn’t worked
me: Hrm.
Nikhil: so, shit is processed food?
HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
nize!
what about Bon Apetit NOW??
me: Heh.
16:15 Shit cannot be processed food.
Nikhil: you go to a grocery store and you see a can of “processed food” you know what you are buying
me: Erm, no wait.
Nikhil: in the same light, food cannot be unprocessed shit.

me: Yeah, you’re right.
Nikhil: All hail me.
\m/\m/\m/
me: Hale you.
Kannada version.
16:16 Nikhil: egjactly.
me:
I had paneer mattar today.
Expecting polka dotted shit tomorrow.

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Need I say more?